The Women of Faith Conference….to me, embodied the ability to find peace. Peace within me.
Sheila Walsh posed a question on stage…..one that cut deep, I think into…everyone.
The question that….hinders all from finding peace in Christ….What if the trouble is in me?
And you know what…for all of us…the hard truth….is that…
and then, Nicole Johnson…you know her, the witty.one.who.gets.on.stage.and.makes.it.all.funny.and.real.and.tells.it.like.it.is.about.being.invisible.
She stands up there and shares her story….I won’t share it, it’s not mine to tell…neither is Sheila’s. But their stories are REAL.
They are REAL and they have written about them in their books…..
and they speak of hurt and pain…and oh, dare I say it…ANGER
It’s all around us…mothers…are….angry.
CHRISTIAN MOTHERS ARE ANGRY!
Because we have not told God the truth. We think we can hide it from him. We think we can put on our smiles, put up with the day to day stuff….and when our friends…ask “How are you”…we think we are supposed to smile and say…”OH, I’m doing great! How are you?”
But, then I’m reminded…of Steve Arterburn…he said, most of us are really living in a state of Disconnected Isolation.
Me…I sit there, soaking it in.
Then, Nicole Johnson….takes out these pretty little shoes…and she says that in her state of anger, her counselor tells her to find where it hurts…and that is where the anger comes from.
She found it, she found that hurt.
Me….I wonder, this mama…this mama who watched hers rage, watched the drink, saw her brother buried, left alone during those tender years…, married and divorced by 20, this mama who opened her heart again…her own sins, her own hurts caused by her own sins…that baby, the one this mama didn’t hold,….and more death, more sickness…my own pain, deep within my body that never ceases…
YET….why do I think I have the right to hurt or be angry. but, i have been.
and i decided, it was time to go before the cross…and I told him. I told him the secrets locked in my heart. i finally told him, i was angry…i was hurt….
i looked around me.
tear stain cheeks
because Angie…her baby born, her Audrey, her story…you read it….it’s hers to tell, not mine…
I have my own
and so do you
and He knows what it is
He wrote it before time
because He loves you
and we are all broken
but, we can find peace, when we bury his word in our heart.
So, here it is…i lay it down
it’s nothing compared to what he did
he sent his son to die for me
me….never in a million years could i do that
but he did
he can handle our pain and our anger
our families can not
This week, I have walked in peace I have not felt in years. As he opened my eyes to sins I forgot, I laid them down…I didn’t hide them. I spoke with my husband about them…and you know what…he still loves me
So, is this a pity party?
No…this is me
laying them down
giving them to him and asking you to do the same.
As Angie said….Peter was in the boat….he had a choice in the midst of falling into the sea…look back to ‘man’ or look forward to the son of God!
these days on this earth will have pain
they will have joy
This week, I have two seeds. One, as a reminder that there is no condemnation in those who follow Christ, that it is only through him that we are saved and are promised eternity in Heaven…..and that he gives peace to those who seek it!
1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. (Romans 8:1-3)
I always look forward to Wednesdays. To spending time sharing seeds with you and my friend, Jennifer Janes. She inspires me so much and I pray that God will bring us together one day…for a big hug! If you are looking for inspiration on any day of the week, visit Jennifer, iFellowship, A Holy Experience, The Wednesday Word, (in)Courage….oh, there are many, many more…just surf around and find them!
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