Honor Love Speak Up and Judge Fairly

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Last Wednesday, I was busy….with the children – finishing a little school work-vacuuming (because with a dog shedding non-stop)…I do that quite often right now…and baking cookies.

It was a ‘normal’ Wednesday around here, hustling, bustling,reading and laughing…along with well, preparing for my Wednesday Tea with another homeschool Mom and her children.  ( I so look forward to those afternoons with her)!

It was ‘normal’ until my husband sent me an email:  “Your Daddy is trying to call you…..”

Now, I have to back up and give you a little history.  For 2 months, my Dad would call my husband and ask where I was…..he would call me and ask why I was not answering my Dad’s calls.  My answer:  If he would call my phone, I would answer….so, I would then, dial my Dad and we would chat.  Now, my Dad never really said anything…but I could tell he was getting a bit chapped over the whole ‘me not answering my phone’….but, truly, I was not receiving his calls and I knew if I tried explaining that…the conversation would really not go anywhere….so, I bit my tongue and prayed (1217 – blessing of prayer to the Father.)

Me With my Dad



When I called my Dad….I discovered….he was driving into my neighborhood…that he had been trying to call me all day to let me know he was coming for a visit. (1218 – Knowing that my Dad feels comfortable in our home)

(Yes, he likes to surprise me.  No…I don’t mind…but, I’ll get into that in a minute).

So, I quickly put the vacuum away (I was finished anyway) and I put another batch of cookies in the oven and told the children their Grandpa was pulling in the driveway and they were finished with school. (1219 – the freedom and flexibility homeschool has brought into our home)

The noise and excitement that followed could have been heard for miles.  (there’s nothing like a visit from Grandpa)….

And he arrived. (1220 – safe travels)

Dad Walking With us

As he walked in…I could tell he was a little upset.  I very calmly said “Dad, I know you have been mad at me for two months.  I know you think I’m ignoring your calls.  Dad, I’m not.  Will you please look at my phone…it will show you all of the calls I have received…..and your number is not there…”  And…he did.

“Dad, may I please see your phone…so I can see the number you have been dialing.”….he handed me his phone and the number he had been dialing was not mine. (1221 – the Holy spirit working on this sinful heart)

I smiled at him…and said….”I did not want to dishonor you by arguing with you on the phone.  I love having you here and I am sorry that we could not have ‘fixed’ this before now.  But, will you please forgive me?  I would have answered your calls.”….and I fixed the number. (1222 – the genuine love that comes from a child to a parent)

So, my Dad was no longer angry…and my friend and her children showed up.  She was as surprised as I was to see my Dad and she quickly checked on me…and asked if I was ok with him just showing up.  I said “YES, it no longer matters if my house is spotless, laundry is finished, food is prepared…what matters most is that our home is open and anyone can drop in any time.”

That was NOT me…just a few years ago.  I would have argued ‘until I was blue in the face’ with my Dad about the number he was calling.  I would have been more concerned with being ‘right’ than honoring him…..and I never wanted anyone to show up unless my house was perfect.  Because after all…that is what we are here to achieve, right?  A life that is perfect or appears perfect to others. (1223 – striving to be like Christ – knowing I can not be perfect…has given me freedom to love more)

Dad and Joseph

I don’t try to keep up that appearance any longer.  I want to have a warm, loving and cheerful home.  One that is a haven from the rush of the world.

This week, I have been studying with Hello Mornings – Focused 15 and Good Morning Girls – Proverbs 31.  I love the way both have shown me how to focus on love and consider the hearts of others more….while gently giving me a voice to speak up and judge fairly – (Prov 31:9)

What are you studying?  How do you handle justice, while honoring/loving others?

I’m sharing today at:  Welcome Home , Miscellany Monday , The Pelsers Proverbs 31 Woman , The Better Mom and A Holy Experience


Rebecca sig

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  1. Jen, it is so easy to feel judged by others…but, I find…that the more I open my doors to a house that does not shout: We are perfect, we are clean and we always use fine china….the more people want to come…share, love and spend time! You’ll get there. We like doing it in small numbers, though…that way we (both my husband and I are more introverted than extroverted) can maintain a feeling of ‘small’…and we can truly have one on one conversations…not leaving anyone out.

  2. Beautiful thoughts and you handled the situation very well. So often I am caught up in the “being right” that I end up BEING WRONG. It’s something I am working through.

    I am also with you on trying to let the areas that used to deem nothing less than perfection, go to being welcome and happy, instead. I struggle here and still get a bit bent if the beds are made just right or the pillows on the couch are not setting upright. Yes, a work in progress.

    I am studying the book of Galatians. Learning to be more concerned with pleasing God, than man. After all, isn’t that what it’s all about?

    Glad you got to spend time with Dad.

    • Robin, It’s a fine line, isn’t it? Remembering to place God first, giving HIM the glory in all things. I am glad I had the chance to spend time withmy Dad, too. I cherish those moments….especially since my Mom passed away…Love ya, sweet friend…and I have to tell you….your posts…keep me straight, remind me why I write…and I love that about you!

  3. Wow. How wonderful that your dad was able to pop in. I unfortunately would have been more likely to argue my point. Thanks for the heart check today.

    • Amanda, I think you’re growing towards not arguing. I have learned a lot from you…as you have helped me in so many areas….I bet….you argue less than you think!

  4. kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing says:

    love this! and I love knowing you – seeing you grow – growing with you and I cherish the time I got to spend in your home and you know what? it was perfect! 🙂 not because of any fine china – but because we felt comfortable, welcomed and among special friends. We can’t wait to spend time with you here – for the time to open our door to you and just enjoy the time (and the beach) the fellowship – together. I thought of you yesterday when we went for a boat ride. hope those pictures entice you – can’t wait to take y’all for a ride!

    • Those pictures are torture! YES< the kids and I were just talking about coming down. It's in the plans and definitely in the prayers!

  5. I’ve struggled in wanting to have a perfect home before anyone walks in the door. So much that I made my children and husband miserable as I’d pick up before they had a chance to lay an item down. It is freeing to realize perfect doesn’t equal perfection. Perfection is a warm and happy home. I’m still working on it…ha!

  6. What a beautiful post, Rebecca! I love your philosophy … I wrote recently about embracing our extended family by caring more about relationships than about being “right. Your thoughts about honoring your father are wonderful. I’m still working on the part about feeling comfortable with visitors if my house isn’t “perfect,” though!

  7. I’m so glad that you were able to spend time with your dad! And that you were able to speak calmly and lovingly – what a wonderful thing for your children to witness!

  8. Oh, that is a wonderful post…what a beautiful work the Lord is doing in your life! Holly

  9. Beautiful post Jen.

    Just a wee question. What are the numbers in the brackets ??