Help Your Child Establish Their Identity

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Children Belong To God


The world is full of people – children and adults – trying to figure out who they are…..I thought I was alone in that thinking.

But, Zan Tyler in her infinite wisdom has proven me wrong. There is at least one other person who believes that “Today’s world seems truly random:  disjointed, haphazard, lacking roots.  Nothing visible is attached to anything invisible.” (7 Tools pg 26)

Living On Emotions

Look around – we see slogans like:  “Life is Good” and “Follow Your Heart“…….  yet, what happens if your life isn’t good -or you do follow your heart and well, it leads to heart aches that last a life-time

What do you do then?

What do you do in a world whose “randomness stems from the fact that in large measure we have divorced ourselves from God, forgetting to worship and obey Him.  No society can forget God without suffering the consequences as a culture and as individuals.” (7 Tools pg 26)


Over the past three years, my husband and I have studied the impact of the theory of evolution…on our lives and have come to the same thought process that Zan Tyler shares in 7 Tools:  “A most visible manifestation of modern society’s forgetting God is almost wholesale capitulation to evolution. When people choose to believe that their very beings are accidental conglomeration of primordial good, then they embrace the random.  When they reject the God who made them, they forfeit that sense of purpose that comes from knowing who they are and why they are here.” (pg 27)

When we turn our back on God – our creator, we should expect to live in a world fraught with problems that go beyond any understanding.


As a little girl, I remember singing “Jesus Loves Me’…go ahead…you can sing it now, I know you want to.  And, I remember learning the Ten Commandments.  What I learned…was that I had to be good, do good or….well, Jesus wouldn’t love me.  I, like so many, lived in a world that truly was not attached to Jesus.  If that wasn’t bad enough, I also lived in a world that was not attached to my home – between school, activities, daycare…..I never fully learned to attach to anything.

Therefore, I could not attach myself to the love of Christ and fully accept the truth of salvation through fully accepting Him as Lord over my life and realizing, I can never do or be enough…I will never be perfect, but I can be transformed and sanctified through His word and love….

Zan hits this beautifully in 7 Tools….and she shares this

“The family unit is among the greatest casualties of our random society.  Detached from its scriptural place of prominence and responsibility, the family has become weak and powerless, and parents have succumbed to the thoughts that they are incapable of doing anything of importance in the lives of their children.  Nothing could be further from the truth.” (pg 27)


Our children need to know who they are.  Zan points out in her book – a quote from Jay Kessler, president emeritus of Taylor University, “The identity crisis of today’s young people, individually and corporately, is the largest single factor affecting this generation…[In the colonial era] identity came more from being linked to a family than from being just an individual.”

If our children are kept busy to ‘keep them out of trouble’, are spending tons of time watching television, playing video games, and hanging out with friends more than their parents and family, where are they gaining their identity from?

And, why does it shock parents that their children grow more and more distant from them and talk to them in condescending tones?

There is no link back to the family.  No respect, no love learned past the love that can not be fully denied due to the blood relationship.

Zan makes this very simple statement….

From the very earliest ages, our children need to know that they belong to God.  God created them for a purpose, and He created them in His image.  We are all His image-bearers.  We bear His likeness.  Our ability to   These abilities separate us from the animals. We are not a little more highly evolved than our chimpanzee friends; we are a separate creation altogether.

I am thoroughly enjoying the 7 Tools Book club with Amanda….are you reading along? Whether you are or are not….

Sharing this post at:  The Pelsers, Raising Arrows and The Better Mom

How are you helping your children learn their identity?


Rebecca sig

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  1. So good…thanks for sharing! Much to chew on and ponder as I travel this morning!:)

  2. Wow, lots for me to think about and ponder. Great post. Thank you, Rebecca.

  3. Wonderful post Rebecca! I totally agree and am inspired and encouraged in my role as a mother and former of identity. Blessings to you!

  4. This is so true. I’ve never read the book but I think all parents can relate to this.