We went to the park yesterday. The chidlren and two friends piled in the car and headed out for an adventure.
The weather was sticky and with a breeze, it felt wonderful….as we sat in the park where I met the three strangers. The park seems a little different now, not quite the same….and I know it is not the park, it is me.
As we walked down the sidewalk, I noticed her…..sitting at a table under the pavillion seeking refuge from the heat. Her head was down and her arms over her head.
a soul in torment.
I watched her….and watched the children. I felt a stir in my heart, an almost silent whisper asking when I was going to begin walking the walk in front of my children….stop being afraid and step out…even one tiny step to embrace the world around me.
To live a life that is wrecked.
As I sat and listened to this voice, the sound of children’s laughter was echoing….and I asked for guidance. I not only had my children, but a friend’s children.
“How can I help and maintain their safety? How can I step out, be the hands and show them “Doing the right thing is hard?”
The cool breeze that had been blowing….vanished. The air was still and oppressive and the woman with her head down walked out from under the pavilion and sat at a table closer to us…out from under the shelter, out into the light.
With the shifting of the wind (rather the loss of the breeze) the children left their play and came to me….asking for water and perhaps a reprieve from the dense air around us.
As we all began to walk away, my heart was beating and my head was screaming….and my feet did not follow what my head was saying. They walked straight toward the woman and as I approached, I prayed….not for me, but for her, for my children (little eyes are always watching, waiting to see what example we will set for them)
I prayed so many different prayers….and I asked if she needed help.
Her response was confusing and her actions were, too. I realized I was ill-equipped to help at that moment…at least me, personally. I had no money, no food, and the car was full.
But, I could offer her love and a prayer…..
As I walked away, I felt defeated. I felt that I had not done enough.
And I made a call…. a call to someone I thought could help. The children asked me about the woman, the choices I made and how to help others.
I realized in that moment….taking that first step,that step out of being fearful of wanting to help but not knowing how God can use you. The fear of not knowing the outcome….the fear of failure, the fear of not being enough….
those fears are lies.
We can not save the world, but we can follow the words of our savior:
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40
Yesterday, I was given a chance to be wrecked…to do the hard thing….to be the hands and feet and to set that example for my children. Was my example perfect and did it remedy the situation?
Am I going to hang my head down? NO WAY – because I took that first step and I want my children to do the same. I want them to see past this physical world and into the spiritual. I want to do my part and step back and know that God – He is in control….
The children and I continue to read through the Old Testament chronologically. It’s become a fun part of our day. We are now in the book of 1 Samuel….and- what a blessing it is!
What would you have done?
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