Sitting At The Cross

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The Cross

I love reading and my children love hearing me read to them and it’s funny, my husband enjoys hearing me read.

As a child, I did not enjoy reading.  Although, I won an award in first grade for being among the top five readers in my class (for quantity not quality, mind you), I did not enjoy it. I read because I had to.

Now, I read because I’m finally falling in love with learning and understanding the beauty behind the wisdom of reading.

Most of all, I am truly loving my Bible time.  Sitting and reading, hearing the words in my heart and truly understanding that it’s not just a ‘story’ a made up, idea of something that never happened, promising something that never will happen.

It’s a beautiful love HIStory, a story from my Father, passed down through generations, raising up strong hearts for His glory – to truly understand the depth and beauty of His love, grace and mercy.

Playing in the surf

As a Mom, I want that for my children.  Oh, how my heart years for them to truly DESIRE to read the Bible.  Not to read it because they have to.  Not to memorize it because I assign a scripture, but for their hearts to truly grab hold of it.

Over the past few months, I have been reading 7 Tools for Cultivating Your Child’s Potential and Full-Time Parenting: A Guide to Family-Based Discipleship – both have truly helped me take a step back as a parent and realize, I’ve been trying to do the work of the Holy Spirit.

WHAT?  Who does that?

Well,this Mama with a heart that was hurt early in life through the action of others and through my own sinful heart. My desire was truly not to do the work of the Holy Spirit, but to be a good Mama: teach my children RIGHT and keep them from enduring the heart hurts I have endured through learning early about the Holy Spirit.

What I missed in that is this…..

Surf Fun

As a parent, I have a grand commission from my Father to disciple my children daily.  I am to teach them His word through reading it and living it.

Pause – that is a hard role to keep for a Mama who never saw it or heard it growing up. I am truly just now growing up in the Lord and feel like I’m on this treadmill or even hamster wheel running with all of my might to get two steps ahead of them and share with them His love, to save them (um, do you see…there’s the problem again….keep reading)

So, through my reading it and living it, I felt it was my job to convict them.


My job is to Love, disciple and correct them.

Oh, I think my heart is getting it: this being a child of God and parent to three of His children, while also being a wife first and friend. The list goes on, I’m sure you have the same one.

My job, as a parent, is to LOVE HIM first.  By doing that, I share HIS grace and mercy with my littles.

Silly Surf Fun

Those little ones, running around, causing all kinds of mischief, but always, always desiring open arms from a Mama, who all too often had those hugs withdrawn during times of heart growth.

Oh, the pain can run deep, but I keep handing it over and the more I do, the more I walk into HIS arms…and my own open even wider to embrace the sweetness of their hearts and show them, truly show them….me,….I’m their Mama.

I’m going to love them no matter what.

Here is where grace and mercy collide and we can sit together at the Father’s feet -loving and confessing.

and me, I can relax a little knowing…the Holy Spirit will convict and cause heart change. As a parent, I have the freedom of guiding and directing – letting Go and letting God




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  1. Okay, confession time: I wasn’t really reading. I told myself I was reading, but I was really just skimming along and these words jumped out at me: “I felt it was my job to convict them. WRONG. My job is to Love them.”

    Such an obvious truth, but one I miss so incredibly often. I am so guilty of wanting to control my children’s actions and make them be a reflection of my faith and of my image of what their behavior as Christian kids should look like, but I can’t — and shouldn’t even try to — do that.

    My kids have got to live out THEIR faith and it’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict them, not mine.

    I so needed to hear that. Thanks for sharing your heart!

    • Kris,
      I confess, all too often, in my desire to love and support my friends, I skim…and miss…unless it’s in bold print. The same holds true with my children….sometimes I’m skimming the surface and miss it….

  2. Thanks for your real and honest words. I am soon becoming a mama, and look forward to putting into practice the wisdom of other mama’s!