Finding Joy by Counting It All Joy

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Find Real Joy by Counting it all joy. This life is short, pain will come and go - we can truly find the peace and beauty of joy if we seek it more than we do pain.

When you have tasted the depth of pain that can not be explained, it creates a clarity in this world that others can not understand – unless they, too, have experienced the bitterness that can remain forever in a heart. A bitterness that can remain until it is released and filled with Joy.

Every now and then, the darkness can bring back memories memories of pain.  “The pain caused by divorce is deeper than that experienced through death“- that’s what my Mama told me. I know the truth of her words.  Yet, that truth has now revealed the beauty of forgiveness and my life with him is one of growth and beauty that can only be obtained through the true words spoken at the beginning of time.

Memories  fade and the heart can grow in many different directions, depending upon the path the life takes. After pain has hit hard and threatens to take the breath from your lungs, a soul must seek peace, pursue it and empty the pain to fill the soul and heart with joy.

Find Real Joy by Counting it all joy. This life is short, pain will come and go - we can truly find the peace and beauty of joy if we seek it more than we do pain.

As I sit here, writing in the quiet, I listen to the breath of my child – my oldest.  He bears the resemblance of his uncle (the one he never met).  Many say he has his smile, his laughter, love for others and a desire for adventure.  Me, I don’t know these things,  I was young when he left this world.

The breath of the child at the foot of my bed in a heap of blankets, shivering from fever and my mind wanders to a night of laughter around the table with his Grandmother.  It’s his little brother’s favorite place-his special place with his Grandmother.

During the midst of my daydream taking me back to sweet memories made, I feel the sense of more healing in my heart.

Healing from the pain of death and divorce.  The divorce of my parents and my own.

I sit and think back to the pain I have experienced at the side of this man I love so much and sense God whispering “I love you more and have already forgiven all”.

Find Real Joy by Counting it all joy. This life is short, pain will come and go - we can truly find the peace and beauty of joy if we seek it more than we do pain.

The night drags on, the breathing continues and I’m thankful for His words that have been planted in my heart. His words that I cling to, to grow me, to love me and to keep me from doing harm.


I pray for the struggle to end. This struggle against the flesh, when the true war is against the spirit.  Pain, when brought on through this life and careless words or actions of others can flare the deepest vengeance and are no longer welcome here.

As quickly as the words from His book come to my mind, I drift from one memory to another, always aware of the child-boy at my feet…growing and seeking the faith of his own…

While the sweet memories of laughter and joy ruminate from another depth in my heart….I remember to Count It All  Joy

Find Real Joy by Counting it all joy. This life is short, pain will come and go - we can truly find the peace and beauty of joy if we seek it more than we do pain.

There, in the darkness….I hear those words – count it all joy.  Don’t just seek peace, pursue peace, find joy – but count it all joy.

The pain of divorce, the bitter taste of death – the brother when I was so young…my Mother – still recent enough to hear her whispers in my thoughts…..

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. …James 1:2-8 ESV

What Joys are You Counting today?



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  1. My Mom passed away last September and, during her final days of suffering and then her passing, I found out my husband was cheating on me.
    I did not want my marriage to end – I wanted my family (five children) to stay together – but it’s not going to be. We are just now starting divorce proceedings.
    All the “remember whens” are colliding with the “woulda/coulda/shouldas” and the “now-we’ll-nevers”, and they’re all wrapped up in the “if onlys”.
    I can’t say that one day I’m up and the next day I’m down — those feelings come and go at a moments notice. We are ALL hurting. I know how much I hurt, but I can’t bear the thought of my kids being in pain.

    • Brenda, my heart weeps for you. I did not have children when we first married and divorced. However, we did face some really rough times just two years ago…..I’ll share that story soon…and my biggest hurt….was watching my children go through it with us…. it brought back memories from my old child hood…which compounded it. I will pray and pray deeply for you and your family……

  2. Beautful Rebecca,

    It is the one thing we try to repeat over and over with the boys, hoping it will become engrained in their hearts… Count it all Joy!

    Thanks for stopping by the ole blog today, I saw you did the same post yesterday! lol I should have used your video, I have not had a chance to watch it yet but I could see it was you in the still shot! lol We don’t do lapbooks all year but we do enjoy them for holidays.

    • Tiany, you are such a blessing to me…and to so many. That video was on Homeschool Mosaics where I write a column for lapbooking/notebooking. It’s a fun and ecclectic group – growing me and encouraging so many. Love you dearly friend…I can’t wait to meet you in real life.

  3. Beautiful thoughts, Rebecca. The Lord truly uses every trial, every setback, every situation in our lives to glorify Himself and sanctify us. Finding joy in the trials is so hard but so worth the faith that comes later. =)

  4. Finding joy in the midst of pain is not something that is easy. Pain isn’t something you can just push away. Praying strength for your day. Thank you for sharing your heart and for linkin up at Simply Helping Him. Blessings!

  5. Thank you for this! It can be so easy to lose yourself in the sadness after a divorce or death. 🙁

  6. I love these words. I think that, while there’s not necessarily joy in painful events, each painfule vent can teach us to appreciate the joy of life.

  7. The holidays are a challenge for my family. My younger sister passed away tragically at the age of 23. We are facing our third holiday season without her and while it is easier in some ways, it is also more difficult each year. But we focus on the positive, holiday traditions, and keeping her memory alive to help us find joy throughout the year but especially during the holiday months.

  8. That is a popular phrase from the Bible. It is another example of advice that is sometimes hard to take, but is true and good for us.

  9. Firstly, I am so sorry to hear of your heartache.. but am so glad you’ve focused on the positive to lift yourself up. Thank you for sharing this powerful message!

  10. focusing on the positive is definitely the key to finding your happy place again

  11. It’s so so hard to find joy when you’re in the middle of something dark. I struggle myself with this! Beautiful post and thank you for sharing your feelings.

  12. Bouncing back from divorce was very difficult for me, but I have such a full and happy life now. I am thankful for that.

  13. This is beautiful. I find joy in sitting around with our family also. That’s why I look forward to holidays each year.

  14. Liza @ Views From the 'Ville says:

    You write so lyrically, it’s soothing just to read your post. Finding the joy in dark places can be hard, but it’s definitely best to focus on that to move yourself forward.

  15. Right before I turned four my mom got pregnant with my sister and around the time of my birthday we found out that it was going to be SISTERS, TWINS! Everyone was so excited. They were born at the beginning of November and before I turned five we had lost one of them to SIDS. It’s a pain and loss that is still felt in my family to this day. The sister who lives constantly struggles with “Why her? Why did I survive” and as such is in a constant state of struggle. My mother went on to have a son a year and a half later. The three of us grew up with a mother who turned into a cold distant person and a family that was never whole again. However, THAT particular struggle made the three of us so close and strong as a group, and that is what I find joy in.

    • Cassie, I am so sorry for the loss of your little sister. That is a tender age and a tender loss. I am so thankful you have found strength in that loss – and joy in your relationships.

  16. I agree it’s hard to see the light when your life is filled with darkness. I haven’t experienced divorce but I know what losing a loved one is like — this is our second holiday season without my Granny and it’s still very painful when we get lost in our thoughts of her…

  17. This is a good lesson for all of us and really hit home with me today. Thank you, thank you!

  18. Divorce is tough for everybody at any age. I think it will get easier with time. I found that with miscarriage and death, so hopefully, through prayer and looking for joy, the pain will lessen.

  19. It’s for sure very hard to be happy when you have a rough thing to go through. Keep your head up and be positive.

  20. It’s so hard when we are in the midst of darkness to find joy. I struggled daily the first year my mom died, when my youngest was so little. The joy of having her and my other kids really helped me get through that year

  21. sometimes I struggle to count the little joys. The hard times seem so much larger. But dinner at cracker barrel with my family, watching the boys learn a new game and spending time with family, that is a HUGE joy that I am grateful for.

  22. Thanks for the blessing Rebecca. Sometimes it is hard to find joy in the pain. My dad passed away 4 years ago from Lou Gherigs Disease. It was very painful to see my strong dad deteriorate. After he passed I was able to find joy in the time I spent with him in his last days (I am a nurse and took care of him around the clock) Beautiful pics of your sweet family, have a wonderful Thanksgiving,

  23. This is so beautifully written. It is SO hard to find joy through the pain and the only way I know how is to remember the good. Laugh about the good and the funny and share the memories with other people who have them as well.

  24. So glad to see you are looking on the positive side of life – more people should take this approach.

  25. Such a beautiful post! We can sometimes lose ourselves and it’s important to find our joy.

  26. I am so sorry. It can be hard to find our way back to joy.

  27. My mom is going through a divorce right now

  28. Sending you love and prayers across the miles!