As I sat on the sidelines of Allume, watching all of the amazing writers, singers and mothers walk by, I thought about you.
Yes, I thought about you, the one sitting here now, reading the words I have typed. I thought about how your days are so similar to mine. How your heart is so wrapped in the life of your family that perhaps you’ve lost who you are. Maybe you know, but you’re tired and have forgotten how to have fun. Or maybe, just maybe you feel like the wallflower sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to come and have a seat next to you.
That’s me. That’s where I sit. I wonder some days-does anyone notice? Does anyone really see me here?
I wake before dawn and share prayers with others in the dark. I pour my heart out to God and beg for one glimmer of hope. Just something to say that anything that happens here, in this heart that was shattered and broken is good..
When I share the secrets of this heart, the desire to fit in, but the need to run and hide the tears…..you, yes you reach out to me. You share your own broken heart.
I sit and I cry. I see. I finally see that God is here. He is here with both of us. He loves us. He loves us enough to send his son.
He loves us enough to connect us here.
Here, in the quiet. Here, where we seek refuge and a common bond. Here, where the world and the chaos can be shut out for one moment.
This past weekend (after the Velveteen Rabbit), I did the unthinkable. I got out of my seat and walked over and spoke to those who write words that are soothing to my heart. I heard their voices and realize…many are just like you and me.
Their names are known by many. But, their hearts, like ours cry out for the one who created. They cry out to seek peace in a world filled with noise.
Women sitting alone, yet in the midst of many. All of our hearts crying out for the one who can take our broken mess and make it a beautiful tapestry of gold and silver.
And I cry tears of joy and tears of regret. How many did I miss? Why could I not see that so many sit in this same place? Feeling alone and on the sidelines just waiting for someone to notice.
Waiting for someone to be his arms-here and now.
So, I’m stepping up and out. I’m determined to get out of this wall…these walls that confine this heart. To sing his praises and seek his heart. No longer writing for the writers, but writing for the readers and the creator.
I’m writing for you. You are not alone.
As a little reminder and a love offering, I created this quick little printable. These are not my words, but words of our Father. He wants you to know, you are not alone. Together, with him, we can walk away from this fear and this need to fit in. We already fit, right in his arms. If you feel lead to print it, I pray it blesses you.
Will you join me in stepping out?