Before I became a Mom, I knew exactly how to be a parent. I knew how to mold children and ensure they were obedient and loved God.
When I had my first child, I thought all of those children older than my first born – were…well, untrained and obviously needed more discipline. The first time I really experienced this thought process was at a park. My then two-year old was climbing on the monkey bars and the four-year old class at the preschool were climbing with him.
And you know what, they were not paying any attention to my little one. Who did they think they were? Where were there mothers? Didn’t they know my little guy needed to be protected from their older children?
Soon, I had three children. Let me re-phrase that – I had three very different children and I realized being a parent is very humbling and a beautiful opportunity to grow. Through this evolution of being a parent, I realized that my parenting had nothing to do with what I thought was best. It has to do with what God has determined to be best.
Children are Different
All three of my children are completely different. They look different, speak differently, have different likes/dislikes and honestly, they behave different. But, they are growing up in the same house.
Their perspectives on life – are different because of their innate nature given to them. Their spirit – that eternal life they have – created for God’s purpose has given them a flavor on life that is different from one another. Each child – different. Each one growing and becoming the person they were created to be. These beautiful blessings, growing this Mom who is different from other Moms.
And all of these differences, can leave a mom feeling disoriented and unsure of herself if she is not grounded in truth.
Don’t Follow The Psycho-babble
Regardless of the what the current psycho-babble filled books or blogs say – you and your children are not rats on a wheel or in an experiment. Yes, you can condition yourself and children to respond to various stimuli – but Mom, you and your children have a heart that we are to grow for the King of Kings.
Being a Mom
As I’ve grown up – becoming the Wife and Mom God created me to be – I often think back to that playground. I think back to how naive I was. It was easy to assume those other Moms didn’t know what they were doing. It’s always easy to look ahead at ‘older’ children and think ‘ oh, my child(ren) will never do that’. It’s easy to be selfish, self-conceited, and narcissistic. What’s hard is humbling ourselves and sitting with others Moms and Mentors. It’s hard to sit down, bury our heads in the truth that we are not perfect and guess what – our children aren’t either. It’s hard because sometimes when other Moms have to speak truth to us, it HURTS. But, what’s hard is often what is best for us.
Not one of us is perfect. And if we want to move forward in growing our children and growing up as a Mom – we need to bury our hearts in the word of the truth. We need friends who are willing to speak truth to us – in love. And we need to be willing to HEAR that truth.
When you Have a Friend
Have you ever had the courage to really ask a friend a question about one of your children. To really ask what they thought and what scripture they can share with you? If so, did the words that came back hurt your Mama heart? Yeah, I’ve been there. I’ve been asked and I’ve asked. A few times when I’ve been asked – the friend who asked turned and ran. Not ony did they run, they ran over me with a four-wheel truck and left me lying in the dust. And the times I’ve asked – the words that came back (filled with truth) – hurt. Yes, they hurt this Mama heart. I felt the sting of truth as I had to sit back and realize that this person was speaking truth to help me because they love me. In both situations, I’ve had to humble myself – forgive and be forgiven.
So, if you have the courage to ask a friend, don’t become a plow and plow them under the ground because they don’t say what you want to hear. If you don’t want to hear truth, then don’t ask. But, if you really want to grow and you reach out to ask a Mom – know that she shares her heart in love, not malice. Try assuming the best and not the worst. And by all means, don’t follow your heart – follow the truth in the Bible. Is what she is saying in line with truth – the truth of God’s word? If so – then you have a friend indeed!
Growing Up Mom
It’s time to grow up, Moms. It’s time to stop wallowing in a pit of despair. It’s time to rise up and know that the world is focused on taking our children and their hearts from the one who loves us. It’s time to understand that we will be judged and persecuted for following the King of Kings. It’s also time to stop assuming our children are perfect. While we need to raise them and grow them for God – by protecting them…we need to realize, they have sinful hearts. They can impact others, just as other children can impact them.
And before you throw a family or a child under a bus for a mistake or a sin they committed, you need to put yourself in their shoes. One day, you or your child will make a mistake. Remember, Jesus said in Matthew 7:1 ““Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” They (or you) will hurt someone, teach someone something bad or they’ll just flat out make a very poor decision. Consider the grace and mercy you pray will be showered upon you and your child before you throw jump on that horse to ride over the one you really would prefer to help with truth – through grace and mercy.
It’s Time to Step Up
We have a choice. We can sit back, fall into the day to day feel good society that is on a fast track to the pit of well, you know where. Or, we can step up and be the Mom God created us to be. We can heed the words of Matthew 10:26-42 or we can focus on what Sally up the street might say if she sees us fail or even succeed.
Are you willing to grow up Mom? Are you willing to ask the tough questions and give the truthful answers (with love and respect)?
Will you join me and enter the narrow gate by growing up, Mom?
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