For a long time, I was angry. I didn’t realize I had an angry heart and bitterness was beginning to fully envelop my soul until I sat and took a deep breath and looked at my life. I opened my heart and asked for truth to seep into my soul and my mind.
As I sat and wrestled with God and asked for the truth, while wanting to hide like Adam and Eve in the garden – my eyes were opened to he fact that I was…..
angry with God.
I was. I was angry that my parents divorced, that my brother had been killed, that my Mother had been sick my whole life, my Father couldn’t be part of my daily life, that my life had been one with moving or running, that I made horrible choices as a very young person and that I lost my first baby. My list of my ‘reasons to be angry’ was longer than my list to Santa had ever been- and it ate at my soul.
I always wondered WHY?
I did not have the ability to look around and see the blessings in my life. I did not understand the circumstances God was putting me through was for a time when He could use me for the purpose in which He created me. It has been a few years since that moment. It was a moment in which I knew I had to make a choice. I had to decide if I was going to stay there or if I was truly going to dedicate each and every moment of my life to Him. While I sat, prayed and pondered, the reality that I could not change anything from the past truly hit me. By sitting, being angry and festering, I was allowing my life to pass without the joy and peace I longed to have. I was choosing my own fate – which was completely against what I desired and the purpose of my life.
Then I made the choice.
His words in the His book no longer made me feel that I had to live within the confines of laws in order to be His daughter. They began to show the freedom that only comes by realizing who I am and that I was created for a purpose. That thought made me ponder the hurts, pain and deceit. I opened my eyes to the world around me and day after day, I find that I have a chance to share His love with others by listening to their hurts. Hurts they think they are alone in. But, like me, they are not.
He created me for His voice.
The days that the light was burned out – and out of focus, I was focused on me. Are you there? Have you experienced that same dry season where nothing seems to be going right?
It’s a lonely place but it’s not where we were meant to be. We all have a purpose and a story to tell
Through sitting and sharing with others, I have come to see – this story must be told. It’s time to remove the veil. It’s time to raise up a generation of women living in the truth of His community – here on earth.
Speaking and sharing truth. Sharing the story He created for His purpose before the beginning of time.
Me, I’m ready to Jump – into the place He has been preparing….I’ll be speaking soon – sharing some heart truths I have learned and while I am nervous, I am excited about this and can not wait for you to join me – past the printed word
Are you ready to jump into your purpose and share your story to encourage and walking along the side of others?
Sharing at 5 Minutes for Friday – join me
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