“I am afraid you will judge me or look down on me and decide not to be my friend anymore because of the things I have done……”
These words recently rolled across the screen of my computer. As I read them, I had to remember that I was not the one writing them. Well, at that moment, I wasn’t the one writing them. Me, I’ve said them over and over in my head. I’ve thought them, written them in journals, emails and letters to friends and I have sobbed into pillows those very words that were coming at me across the screen.
As I read the words, it hit me, there isn’t a woman out there who hasn’t felt that way. No, not one. and I realized what I want more than anything is to reach out and share that not one single person on this planet is good enough. We are all sinful and we have all fallen short of the glory of God. BUT GOD….. the Bible is full of But God. In that truth, we can find true fellowship to sit and grow together!
So, I write. I write to encourage you, yes you-the one reading this right here and now. I write to encourage you to seek the one who created you, and purchased you even when you were a sinner. I want you to know, you are not alone. Every person around you has something (hidden in the closet) they wish they had not done (or said). We are all guilty of some hidden passion or desire we wish we could run from and never look back.
And we are all guilty of looking at another person and thinking we are better. And truth be known, and many of us think we are not better or as good as that other person and we don’t even deserve their love or friendship. The truth is, we are all the same. But, some of us leave that path that is broad and begin walking the one that is narrow.
It’s time to stop living for others. That is where fear lives. When we live for the sake of what others think of us, we are making them into idols and we miss out on the truth and beauty of what our God thinks about us and desires to give us. He created this world – and all that is in it. His desire is to have a relationship with us. But it comes at a cost.
It’s a high cost for many – too high for most. I’ll admit, some moments, it seems too high for me. To place myself to the side, to let go of the self righteous indignation this sinful heart tends to cling to is a price that almost seems impossible to pay.
So, my knees rub raw as I sink to the floor and beg for my heart to just.be.transformed. The pain of the sanctification process can be unbearable when carried under the weight of judgement (from man). The judgement of others is too much to bear. It’s too much for any heart when we think we are the one doing it. When we start thinking that if I could just do this, then it would be alright and I’ll be a good person…..we miss the truth.
Sweet friend, set your eyes on Him. It’s time to stop worrying about man’s judgement and focus on the only one who is ‘just’. That is where you will find peace, joy and freedom.
Will you join me?
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