When I was a little girl, I loved my Mother. She wasn’t perfect, but she was my Mother. When I would get into trouble, she would discipline me.
But, I still loved her.
Our life wasn’t easy. After my parents divorced and my oldest brother was killed in a horrible accident, things were down right hard.
But, we lived, laughed and cried.
As a teen, I didn’t like my Mom. I hate saying that now. That wasn’t all due to my teen angst or my Mother. Looking back, I can see how some of the words shared by another person to me about my Mother impacted my heart. I can also see how other negativity around me impacted it.
Recently, I looked through pictures and read old letters. What I discovered in those pictures and letters were smiles, laughter and a family trying to survive through circumstances that would tear any heart apart.
As a Mom, my fear is that my children don’t like me. My fear is that they will be like me and think they had the worst childhood ever.
This fear has lead me to believe that my children truly don’t love me and I have been walking around thinking I am a defeated Mom.
To help me overcome this fear and find truth, I have spent hours in prayer and reading the Bible. I want so desperately to be the Mom God created me to be. But, I can’t shake this feeling that I can never be or do enough.
That is a lie.
I have also been reading Spiritual Mothering. It was suggested by a sweet friend who has been a mentor to me. In the book, I stumbled upon a quote that has cut me to the core.
“For many women today, their purpose in life is shaped by their desire to attain the personal happiness they are told they deserve. So they are not only disappointed by unrealized expectations, they are defeated.” pg 33
There it is, in black in white. The truth about the defeat that so many of us feel. We have been sold a pit of lies about happiness that we deserve through working or not working. Through homeschooling or not homeschooling. Through this, that or the other. We have been sold a lie that basically says ‘ we deserve personal happiness.’
This also gets to the heart of a Mom – where we think we deserve happiness because we are married or have children – or even because we are the coolest Mom on the block with the latest, greatest and everyone is always at our home, but we still feel empty – and defeated.
Even with those little arms around us, the world tells us we can be happy, but it still beats us down and tells us we aren’t good enough. So we take both of those lies and heap them on the shoulders of our husband and children.
In order to overcome this, I awake before dawn and pray. I read His word and let HIM crush this feeling that is going through society.
This feeling that Moms are unloved by our children is pervasive and it’s tearing at the soul of every Mother right now. We have all bought the lie that we are not good enough and that, my sweet sister is a lie.
Our purpose is not attained through anything that we think or are told we deserve! Our happiness will not be attained through our children or our husbands.
Our happiness will only be found through fulfilling the purpose we were created to live out. Together, we need to find that purpose, we need to be the wives and mothers we were created to be.
And we need to know – really know – and I WANT you to hear me say this to you….
OUR CHILDREN LOVE US. Your children LOVE you! YOU are the most beautiful woman in the world to them and you always will be!
Even when they are teens and are becoming the people God created them to be, you will always be their Mother and they will always love you!
So, stop being defeated. Go hug those babies.
You weren’t called to be their everything but you were called to be their Mother. Let God define that beautiful word for you – not the world.
Please note, this post contains affiliate links. See disclosure for full information