Mom In a Crisis

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There are days when some Moms end up in a crisis others can not relate to. They need to know they are not alone. You need to know you are not alone. Today, I begin sharing more of our story and share7 Tips for Moms in a Crisis

I have been thinking over the last twenty years and the many ways God has shown up when I least expected it. I’m not sure ‘why’ I can honestly say ‘least expected it.’ Maybe it’s because of unanswered prayers surrounding the divorce of my parents or the death of my brother.

Either way, God has shown up big. I’ve eluded to the ways He has shown up, glimpses into our divorce, but have not fully disclosed them because of fear. I haven’t discussed the many nights he is gone due to his work in Celebrate Recovery with others seeking God’s help to put their lives back in some order of sanity. The nights are hard, and honestly there are days I’m jealous of that ministry….  I’m sorry, I’m dawdling.

But, this weekend, God showed up and placed someone in my path that I was not expecting. It was a a gentleman I had the honor of hearing speak. While he was speaking, he shared that his daughter had divorced the man she married. He had been involved with drugs and there had been abuse. Now, I can’t relate to the abuse, but the drugs and the divorce. I can. And then he shared about how he recently had the privilege to witness his  daughter remarry her husband! I sat there with tears in my eyes.

Is this why God allowed the devastation to occur that rocked two families? Am I supposed to be part of this ministry my husband has been a part of? Are we to begin our own ministry here and elsewhere?

After the minister finished, I walked up to him, introduced myself and told him I had the same story as his daughter (except for the abuse). I offered my name and number.

Why?

Because we all need to know that we are not alone. There are redeemed marriages. There are are even fewer men who can walk away from the depths of sin that are cast by years of addiction to drugs

And there are not many wives I can sit and talk with about the impacts of being married to a husband who has been down that path.

You see our story didn’t end (with a white horse trotting off to happily ever after) when the ring was placed on the finger again and there were others walking along side our family. My husband did not go to CR on his own. He went because his need turned to alcohol…..and a few years ago, I packed my bags and was walking out of the door.

I didn’t write about it.

I only told one person.

She gave me a number to call and walked the road with me. She helped me remain loving to my children – to be the Mom they needed me to be. I was a mom in a crisis.

I still live there some days – wondering if the path will turn crooked again. I wonder, how can I possibly be an imperfect Mom in a Crisis but be loving, gentle and compassionate.

God showed me the way.

After Jesus heard that John the Baptist was beheaded – this took place:

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Matthew 14:13-14

And then, He fed 5,000 with 5 loaves of bread and two fish (all provided by a child).

In that moment, while He was mourning the loss of John and looking to the future that was close at hand, he had compassion on people who would not leave him alone.

During the midst of any day – crisis or not, my children find me every time I ‘withdraw by boat privately’ to the bathroom, bedroom, anywhere. I have fallen short so many times and have been irritated because I thought ‘they should know Mommy needs quiet” or “This is so hard, can’t they let me be for just a moment.”

But here, God doesn’t let me off the hook. He doesn’t show me (in His son) that I can be selfish or inconsiderate….  I need to be compassionate.

I am called to be a Mom – even in a crisis.

How to be a Compassionate Mom in a Crisis

  • Pray
  • Seek prayer from others
  • Read your Bible
  • Praise God through songs
  • Pray with and for the loved one causing the crisis (more so if it is you)
  • Cut your calendar/to do tasks in half
  • Give yourself grace

How are you Mom? Are you facing a crisis? Do you need prayers? Feel free to email me here or message me on facebook and I will privately pray over you and your family…..

 

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Comments

  1. Amen, Rebecca. Such good stuff. God does so much from the brokenness of our lives, doesn’t He?

    Much love,
    Melanie

  2. God meets us right where we are in such a mighty way. Praying for you, and thanking you for these small, but huge ways to continue being compassionate when I feel like my world is crumbling. <3

    • Lena, Thank you for your prayers and YES – God meets us where we are in a mighty way. It’s beautiful when we sit back and ask Him to share a glimpse of His full sovereignty with us.

  3. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says:

    I think God has a plan for all of us. We may not understand at the time, but there is definitely a reason for everything he does.

    • I definitely agree – God does have a plan for all of us and our human minds can never fully grasp His plans, but we can bask in His love and the knowledge that all will be for His glory. Thank you for stopping by Robin!

  4. I think the best peice of advice is to give yourself grace. If a friend were in the same situation we would be supportive, encouraging and forgiving but we rarely hold ourselves with the same grace.

  5. I really can relate to this post and everything that you said here. I have been through so much in my life and through it all there is one thing I have always kept, my faith. God works in mysterious ways. At times he takes care of our problems without us even realizing it. He may not give us exactly what we are looking for, but in the end he has a plan. A bigger plan for us all. I am trying to pass this on to my daughter as well. I think it is so important to have faith and prayer in our lives.

  6. There is always someone to reach out to when you are in a crisis. You are never alone!

  7. It is hard to understand some days why God allows the bad stuff to happen but I think that ever single experience makes us stronger and more capable of surviving the next crisis. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  8. Thank you for sharing your heart, sweet friend. You’re right, not many wives walk the path that you do, but there’s always that “something” that makes it super difficult to be healthy in spirit. I know.
    The Holy Spirit, in all His gentleness, doesn’t hold anything back when I’m guided to the Word for correction (I deal with emotional instability way too often!).
    He then bathes me in the love of the Word by soothing my soul and sending women to encourage me.
    I pray to be that encouragement to my friends when needed also!!

  9. I think when we live through struggles and crises ourselves, it gives us the strength and empathy needed to help support others. There’s always a reason, even if it isn’t apparent for many years to come

  10. It’s not always easy to understand His plan, but I know he has one for everyone. Still, it does sometimes surprise me in the ways He works.

  11. Susanna @Zealous Mom says:

    Thank you for this beautiful and honest post. It really touched me. It’s true that we often feel like giving up, and God can show up on the most unexpected ways. I love that about Him.

  12. Thank you for sharing this testimony with us. You really spoke to me when you talked about compassion for your children when they want to be near you. I often feel the same way, trying to escape privately, but in all honesty, having them and Him there helps hold my heart afloat the bad waters.

  13. Thank you for sharing this with us. These are such great tips for moms in crisis and in need.

  14. It’s always reassuring to know that we aren’t alone. Sounds like you were supposed to be there to hear that message.

  15. I am a mom in crisis. I admit it. I have far too little patience and sometimes I lash out on my children. I hate this part of me and need to fix it! I pray for god to change me and give me strength and patience. He does but I aka ways seem to stumble myself.

  16. I think the hardest thing we are called to do is be a mom. Being that spiritual model for our kids and how many times we fail… wow! I am so thankful that we serve a gracious God who loves us without condition.

  17. I was totally thinking about writing a blog post about how Jesus had compassion on the crowds even in all his turmoil. I think this is proof positive that the internet doesn’t need me. :-) Kidding. Having to put ourselves aside even during difficult times is something every Christian has to learn to do, and motherhood offers no end of practice for it. Thanks for being so open about what you’ve learned. Moms need to hear this stuff.

  18. Thank you for using your painful experiences to give others hope and blessings. I hope your path forward is an easier one.

  19. My girls were studying the loaves and fishes this week in Sunday School. Thanks for the great ideas to help moms in a crisis, often times it’s easy to give this advice, but to remember it when we are in need is a different story.

  20. While I haven’t had any big traumatic things like you shared, I think every marriage and relationship for that matter has twists and turns, ups and downs. That’s just a part of life. I’m so happy you could see God in your life touching your heart and the spirit prompting you towards things you need to learn or hear. I’ve had many of those experiences in my life and I cherish them.

  21. there is a plan for all of us. the key is to be strong and wait for it

  22. I also think that God has a plan for us all. Sometimes I question why certain people are put in my life, but then again I know its for a reason.

  23. You are right, we are not alone. Thank you for the tips for moms in crisis.

  24. People find strength in their faith when they need it most

  25. I know it’s hard but one of the things that I always TRY to keep in my mind during a crisis is to breath and that God never gives us more than you can handle. I also try to remember not to ask for specific things to get through a situation like strength or wisdom because God will give you those but he’ll also give you the trials to earn them. Instead I always ask for the grace and understanding to make my way through the crisis as God would have me and that I put my life and choices in his hands as I do any other time

  26. Love. Yes, I too believe that God has a plan for all of us. Its very hard, at times, to understand the how and the why behind it.

  27. This is good. I really needed to hear this. Thanks for sharing your experience and letting people know that they are not alone.

  28. Awesome post. Thank you so much for sharing. I have said a prayer for you. We all need a prayer daily.

  29. Thank you for sharing a good list of tips for moms that sometimes don’t even know they need it.