I have been thinking over the last twenty years and the many ways God has shown up when I least expected it. I’m not sure ‘why’ I can honestly say ‘least expected it.’ Maybe it’s because of unanswered prayers surrounding the divorce of my parents or the death of my brother.
Either way, God has shown up big. I’ve eluded to the ways He has shown up, glimpses into our divorce, but have not fully disclosed them because of fear. I haven’t discussed the many nights he is gone due to his work in Celebrate Recovery with others seeking God’s help to put their lives back in some order of sanity. The nights are hard, and honestly there are days I’m jealous of that ministry…. I’m sorry, I’m dawdling.
But, this weekend, God showed up and placed someone in my path that I was not expecting. It was a a gentleman I had the honor of hearing speak. While he was speaking, he shared that his daughter had divorced the man she married. He had been involved with drugs and there had been abuse. Now, I can’t relate to the abuse, but the drugs and the divorce. I can. And then he shared about how he recently had the privilege to witness his daughter remarry her husband! I sat there with tears in my eyes.
Is this why God allowed the devastation to occur that rocked two families? Am I supposed to be part of this ministry my husband has been a part of? Are we to begin our own ministry here and elsewhere?
After the minister finished, I walked up to him, introduced myself and told him I had the same story as his daughter (except for the abuse). I offered my name and number.
Because we all need to know that we are not alone. There are redeemed marriages. There are are even fewer men who can walk away from the depths of sin that are cast by years of addiction to drugs
And there are not many wives I can sit and talk with about the impacts of being married to a husband who has been down that path.
You see our story didn’t end (with a white horse trotting off to happily ever after) when the ring was placed on the finger again and there were others walking along side our family. My husband did not go to CR on his own. He went because his need turned to alcohol…..and a few years ago, I packed my bags and was walking out of the door.
I didn’t write about it.
I only told one person.
She gave me a number to call and walked the road with me. She helped me remain loving to my children – to be the Mom they needed me to be. I was a mom in a crisis.
I still live there some days – wondering if the path will turn crooked again. I wonder, how can I possibly be an imperfect Mom in a Crisis but be loving, gentle and compassionate.
God showed me the way.
After Jesus heard that John the Baptist was beheaded – this took place:
When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Matthew 14:13-14
And then, He fed 5,000 with 5 loaves of bread and two fish (all provided by a child).
In that moment, while He was mourning the loss of John and looking to the future that was close at hand, he had compassion on people who would not leave him alone.
During the midst of any day – crisis or not, my children find me every time I ‘withdraw by boat privately’ to the bathroom, bedroom, anywhere. I have fallen short so many times and have been irritated because I thought ‘they should know Mommy needs quiet” or “This is so hard, can’t they let me be for just a moment.”
But here, God doesn’t let me off the hook. He doesn’t show me (in His son) that I can be selfish or inconsiderate…. I need to be compassionate.
I am called to be a Mom – even in a crisis.
How to be a Compassionate Mom in a Crisis
- Seek prayer from others
- Read your Bible
- Praise God through songs
- Pray with and for the loved one causing the crisis (more so if it is you)
- Cut your calendar/to do tasks in half
- Give yourself grace
How are you Mom? Are you facing a crisis? Do you need prayers? Feel free to email me here or message me on facebook and I will privately pray over you and your family…..
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