Why Being a Mom Isn’t Hard

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Why Being a Mom Isn't Hard

A few weeks ago I wrote , “Stop Saying Being a Mom Is Hard” and had no idea what God was going to do with it. I really had no idea that it would strike the chord that it did across the internet. While you may see the negative comments on the post (or facebook or other blog posts putting it down), you don’t see the emails and private messages I received from so many Moms thanking me.

So many Moms are seeking truth and know that God doesn’t grow us through the really great things that happen in our lives. He grows us when we are on our knees acknowledging that we are sinners in a sinful world. He grows us when life is so hard we know that only through His strength and patience can we continue.

His own son faced more difficult days than we can ever imagine, but he never ever walked around saying ‘THIS is hard.”

The irony is that in that post I stated:

Now, I’m not saying being a Mom is easy. Please don’t hear me saying that. But, being a Mom isn’t about ‘being easy’. It’s about laying down our lives, helping our husbands and growing our children.

What people took from the post was – we should walk around being fake. They seemed to miss the part where I said, to pray, read the Bible and then call a friend.  They seemed to miss the fact that I stated ‘life is hard.’

What I didn’t say is – we are told not to complain. This negativity and world focused on complaining when life doesn’t go our way or see how valuable we think we are is not what our Father has called us to do and it definitely feeds into the world’s view of children, which seems to be ‘ don’t have them, use as much birth control as possible and if you do get pregnant, then just abort them.’ (You can read more about that deception here)

Do everything without complaining and arguing, Phil 2:14

And it has left me seeking the answer to this question: Why do so many Moms want to rest on the necessity to say “Being a Mom is Hard?” And I’m left with this. In the Book of Titus we read:

 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:1-5

That is what is missing and causing so many Moms to sit and the muck and mire. Too many churches are not teaching sound doctrine and older women are not teaching younger women. You see, it doesn’t say that younger women should be running around complaining, it says the older women are to be teaching the younger women. Now, I don’t think that necessarily means age – but in wisdom and life. There are many women younger than me who teach me in areas where they have more wisdom. Likewise, there are some older women I learn from, as well.

So, I’m turning the table. I’m not going to talk negatively about churches who don’t know what they aren’t doing or talk poorly about the women who were not trained to raise up the next generation. I’m taking my life and my children’s lives into my hands with the power of God behind me. I’m seeking those ‘younger’ women who are Moms and helping them before they hit the stage where they feel the need to walk around complaining. I‘m going to affirm their love for their children and help guide them through God’s word as a Wife and a Mom. And, I’m also seeking women who can mentor me and help me through the joys and the sorrows.

This journey is filled with opportunities to serve and allow others to help us. Sitting and complaining will never accomplish that. Yes, let’s be real, but let’s be real in a way that glorifies God.

Today, when you think being a Mom is hard and want to complain consider:

  • Mary knew why Jesus was born, but she pondered all in her heart (she didn’t walk around complaining)
  • There are Moms holding their children’s hands while they suffer through illness. Yet they are thankful for each moment they can spend with their babies.
  • There are Moms sitting at the grave of their child wishing they could clean up one last bit of milk on the floor or help them through one more temper tantrum.
  • There are Moms who are too sick to care for their children, but they do it anyway, thankful for one more day to have that opportunity.
  • There are Moms who have no food or water for their babies and they are wading through trash cans for one morsel to feed them. And they do it with all of the courage and strength they can muster.
  • There are Moms who never held their own child. They feel the pangs of being barren, but perhaps the love of another woman who gave her child up that now fills her empty arms.
  • There are Moms whose husband have either died or left them. They feel alone and yet are thankful for the babies who fill their arms.
  • There are Moms watching their children go through addictions, yet they love them unconditionally and would fight tooth and nail for them.
  • There are Moms who are crossing deserts to find refuge from war-torn lands with their children straggling along with them.
  • There are Moms watching their children go to war – and never return.
  • There are Moms who have witnessed the great depressions, both world wars, the Korean, Vietnam and other wars, yet they hold fast to the strength of their Savior because they have seen more than our generation can ever imagine.

These circumstances are hard. You see, it’s circumstances that are hard. They grow us and help us seek others to help and to help us. This idea that being a Mom in a land of plenty where the truly biggest problem with have is that we are sinful people with sinful children and we fail to see the beauty of laying it at the cross, to do all things without complaining and by praying for each and every moment we have to give thanks – that’s not hard. That’s called dying to self and loving God and our children more than our own selfish needs.

Yes, I’ve said it in the past, this ‘being a mom’ thing is hard. But, I’m laying that down at the cross.

I’m standing here now asking – who will stand with me and raise a generation of children who witness a Mother who knows that her strength comes from the Lord and she believes what God says when He says He will never leave nor forsake you?

It’s not about ‘being real’ or complaining or about whitewashing. It’s about being a godly woman, focused on God, serving others and laying our lives down where they belong – at the cross.

And to lay it all out there. If you want to know more about what sparked this post? I just sat with an amazing woman I have loved for 24 years while she walked into the arms of our Savior. 4 Years ago she was diagnosed with leukemia. Over the past 2 decades, she taught me to love unconditionally, how to bury a husband and keep going, how to reach out to others, how to love my children and how to face illness that wracked her body, yet she didn’t complain. Her last words were those of beauty, grace and love.

That’s the legacy I want to leave and I have a passion for helping others reach that desire in their own lives. And let’s be more like this Mom who helped another Mom rather than dragging her down!

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Comments

  1. You know where I stand. Right behind you, with a set of pompons, cheering you on. (And occasionally pausing to give you rabbit ears while you’re not looking. Just to shake things up a little.)

  2. Thank you! I sit here with a very sick child, waiting for the sun to come up and the Doctors to read my emails, never once in the last 36 hours have I thought this is hard. My medical tool chest isn’t filled with many options for my child. Her heart transplant and immune suppression give us few medications that don’t interact with her other medication. But my tool box is filled with prayer, submission and faith. My unseen God has control of the situation and will take care of not only, her but me too. This is one of those bumps in the road that takes you to a wiser, more grateful place. I stand beside you, teaching , learning and praising God.

    • Kelly, What a blessing you are. I am placing you and your daughter on my prayer list right now. I am thanking God for you and the strength He is giving you. You are Loved and you are a blessing!

  3. Eventhough I wrote a post titled “Motherhood Is Not Easy” I agree with your mission in this post. Worldly circumstances cloud our view of what our mission as wives and mothers ought to be; God gave us children, and it can be challenging, but not to make us run away from the role of ‘mom’ but to be sure we get down on our knees to pray and be guided by His Word and needs for us. When we reject sin (work in progress for me every day) and count our family as a blessing, the work we need to do to care for them (b/c God calls us to do so) we don’t need to label circumstances as ‘hard’ or ‘easy’ but call them all our ‘work’ for God’s purposes. I will definitely be following your blog! Wise words and a time when they are very needed!

    • YOU captured the whole essence of these posts in your comment. Thank you, Jaimi, for your comment and your desire to help Moms find the purpose for which God created them!

  4. Standing to my feet….clapping wildly….You, Rebecca Brandt, are amazing!! I love you! I love how you write what He tells you to write. This post! LOVE IT! Thank you!

  5. Kim thompson says:

    I loved this post and the other one on the same topic. the Lord convicted me a couple years ago to stop complaining and to treat my husband as the leader of our family, and our family has seen many blessings because of it, even though we are still learning and growing each day.
    Thank you for a beautifully worded post.

  6. Gennie Shelor says:

    Thank you Rebecca for this post. I discovered your blog just a little while ago. Actually it was your post Stop Saying Being a Mom is Hard. It is very uplifting! This morning I read from someone else’s daily devotional, just to try something new, it was very depressing. So I came back here. Many thanks for this post and the other. I guess some people missed the point. Of course being a mom isn’t easy, but It’s not right to walk around being defeated by it. Have a blessed day!

    • Gennie, Thank you so much for your comment. I am sorry you found a devotion to be something that was defeating – and I also thank you for not calling that writer out here. God has each of us on a journey and at times I have been so defeated ,it has shown in my writing. But, God is growing me on my journey and you on yours. That’s what it’s about – following Him and loving Him and others above ourselves. YOU are a blessing and I pray today, as you go through your journey, you keep your eyes laser focused on Him – the beautiful I AM

  7. Oh, how the Holy Spirit brings me here to have you speak right to my heart! Just beautiful, my friend, and SO, SO true. I wish more people would read and heed this message. I have been trying very hard the last few years to be the wife and mother that God wants me to be. I am a work in progress, but I ask the Lord for strength and wisdom every step of the way. Miss you, sweet friend!

    • Lisa, He is growing every single one of us every day. We are not promised easy, but we can find joy when we serve Him truly and wholeheartedly. I pray all is well and I miss you too, but I’m not missing the things I used to miss – those simple moments with my children. Love you and I still read and scan through your words – keep up that smile! It shines bright for the world.

  8. Elizabeth says:

    So as I read this I sit here 20 weeks pregnant, with the baby doing acrobatics, a 2, 3 and 4 year old in bed asleep. I am BLESSED beyond measure. But as I read this my heart hurts for those who focus on the challenges of life, instead of looking for how God is working on them and others, and using our challenges for His glory (so amazing He uses US for His glory!! We are SO undeserving!!). The interdenominational Bible study my children and I go to is wrapping up this week. We have been studying Matthew. We were talking today about how interesting it is to see someone who is walking by faith and keeping their eyes on Jesus (that still doesn’t mean they are perfect!! but their focus is right), compared to those who focus on their challenges/ problems and start to sink, much like Peter did when he was walking on water to Jesus and lost focus. Your post also made me think of this:

    “Blessed be the God and the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

    Thank you for writing truth and being honest :)

  9. Totally agree with you!!! Thanks for saying it.
    Going to link to this on my blog if you don’t mind.