Last year, I hopped in the car with my family and some friends to be in a scene of Mom’s Night Out. It wasn’t a long drive and it was fun. Ok, it was ‘fun’ sitting in a church on a Saturday for 4 hours waiting to tape the scene about 10 times (yes, you can see me smirk). The scene was fun and laughing was easy (at the appropriate time) the first few times. After that. Not.So.Much.
What I learned during that time, if I ever wanted to be a ‘star’ on camera (as if I would/could be), I couldn’t do it. Too many ‘takes’ would just run me into the ground.
The irony is, we did get to see some of the personalities of the people in the film. It’s always interesting to remember that the people in the film – are people. They are not their character, they’re just getting paid to play a part and they’re good at it. But, what was funny, ironic and kind of made me wonder if I wanted to be in the scene or support the movie was when someone asked where a Baptist Preachers’ wife would be. One of the actors (and you don’t need to know who) replied – “Out back smoking.”
So, I wondered, what would the movie REALLY be about. I mean, then, we only knew the title and that Steven Kendrick and a few other people from other movies would be in it.
Being curious, and a little vain to see myself in a movie, I trekked off to watch it with my family and some friends this weekend. I will admit, on the surface, it is a very funny movie and depicts much of what a mother goes through.
On the flip side, it depicts much of what a mother goes through and how so many Christians have a humanistic worldview on life.
The movie begins with the lead actress oversleeping because she stayed up too late (or got up too early and fell asleep) writing a blog post. So, she wakes up late for church on Mother’s Day, her children have completely wrecked the house and it goes down hill from there. When her husband arrives home from his business trip (late Sunday night) he finds her in their bedroom closet (having just devoured an entire bag of chocolate) watching an eagle sitting on her nest. That scene is quickly followed with the house being cleaned and the two lead actors are sitting in their living room. She’s folding clothes and talking – he’s listening. She shares how she has everything she ever wanted…..
and she.isn’t.happy. (when did we ever get the idea that things, people and money would make us happy? Happiness is an emotion based on something that has happened in our lives. Joy is a fruit given by the spirit who is our helper)
Now, I have to say, her husband handled that scene very well. He listened and from there – A Mom’s Night out was born.
I’m not going to share a lot about the movie. Again it is funny. I laughed a lot. But, I also cried. The movie identified so much of what’s going on in the heart of Moms who have made the decision to stay at home with their children and while you may think I’m talking about how ‘hard (important) it is’ – I’m not.
Again, it identified how very humanistic Christians are.
The main character, who is very sweet and every single mom can relate to – has a few problems.
- She has a completely humanistic view on life. She thinks she should be happy and she should have every thing her little heart desires: perfect family, perfect house, perfect car – and none of those things are perfect.
- At no point do you see her praying or seeking scripture
- The non-stop whining and inability to be a grown up (shown throughout the movie) keeps her from enjoying being a Mom. (i.e. throwing a temper tantrum in a restaurant because she set up her reservation wrong and I could add more, but I won’t)
- The movie begins and ends with her need to write a blog post. Not a need to read the Bible, no need to pray, no need to spend time preparing for the day she is in or the next day…
- She is a little girl, in a woman’s body, with no guidance on how to be a wife who loves her husband and her children (now, she does reach out to the preachers’ wife and that relationship could bloom – but really, she has no guidance, no accountability and no one mentoring her)
- The best advice she receives is from a biker who no longer attends church. Ironic, I find so many people who truly know the Bible, know about God’s grace, mercy (ahem and wrath), leave the church.
And this lead me to a few things I have been thinking about.
Over the past few years, I have gone through periods of change with my blog. When I started writing, I was much like this Mom. I wanted to encourage and grow and make connections. Being at home – you don’t have a lot of adults to talk to and there are days you’d give anything for an adult conversation. So, instead of picking up the phone, I’d pick up my computer and fly away to never never land…. and honestly, that didn’t work out too well.
Then, my blog became a business. I traveled and I met some amazing people I am blessed to call friends. I enjoyed my time away, but I missed out on a few things. For me, I found it wasn’t worth missing those special times right now. For the money side, I learned from that is YES, you can make a lot of money on a blog. Some people can do that and it works well for their families. Others can not. My family right now, needs me. So, my hat is off to my friends who can do it and are able to maintain love and integrity in their home.
Don’t forget, I’m the one who quit blogging, but not writing (when time and circumstances permit)
As I watched the children in the movie and thought about the many comments I see on facebook and blog posts about how children are behaving in homes and how I began seeing it in my own home, the more convinced I am that truly, this Mommy blogging thing can be another distraction to keep us from what is truly most important. My children are not perfect and neither am I – but there are some behaviors that are a direct result of parents who have checked out and abdicated their roles as parents.
Parents in our society spend so much time being distracted and running around that no one really knows how to parent anymore. I’ve written about that here and I’ve shared how to stop saying being a mom is hard and why being a mom is hard.
YES – Parenting CHANGES us. It should.
We are born sinful, selfish, narcissistic creatures who think the world should revolve around us. Then, we have parents who buy us everything we want and take us to everything we want to go to…and we grow up thinking the world is going to do the same.
And while it doesn’t, a person really doesn’t have any idea about how truly selfish they are until they have children. But, then, we still don’t grow up. We yell, blame, and ignore our children, rather than growing up, putting our big girl panties on and realizing – our dreams may have to wait, while we love, grow, nurture and disciple our children. Our need to be noticed And that blog post, facebook update, tweet, G+ mention….may need to wait for another day.
We’re growing the next generation and if some of us don’t grow up, wake up and smell the coffee, the next generation is going to be even worse prepared than we are. We need Servant Leaders… but we must show our children how to do that.
We have grown into a nation of idols. We idolize anything and everything from pastors to movie stars. From colleges to pro ball players. And money…. well, I’ve chased that dollar bill a few times and I’ve made over 6 figures in less than three months and i have to tell you…
Nothing, NOTHING is sweeter than the kiss or smile of a child.
- real community
- opportunities to serve
- opportunities to grow
- to give and receive grace/mercy
- to be mentored and mentor others
- various friends to help us with the different facets of life
- to know that we can’t control everything
- time in prayer
- time in the Bible
- a proper perspective of God and who we are to Him.
- to stop judging and comparing others/ourselves and be content with who we/they are
- most of all living to serve Jesus.
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else Gal 6:4
One day, my children will leave my home. I pray when they do, I look back with fewer regrets than smiles and good memories.
But, I can’t grow them, train them, teach them, talk with them and be their Mom and my husband’s wife if I’m not growing in God’s word, spending time in prayer and meditation and teaching them to do the same.
This computer, it sees little of me these days… I love encouraging you, sweet Mom – I do and that’s kept me here on days where I should have been playing or teaching my children.
But, I have to make a choice.
and my family comes first.
As God places things on my heart (that tend to go against the grain) I’ll pray for the courage to write. Other times, I just walk away and let all of the drama go on without me while I bask in the glory of being a Mom.
I didn’t walk away from a great paying job to miss it…and I know you didn’t either.
I walked away to follow the still small voice of God calling me to be a wife and a mom focused on my family. And that’s what we should all be doing – growing together, helping one another and not reflecting the world’s view on what being a wife and a mother should be. But reflecting the servant heart of Jesus Christ.
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