Something has been gnawing at me for well over a year – this thing about living in the mix of real life motherhood. It was the reason I wrote ‘Stop Saying Being a Mom is Hard” and ‘Why Being a Mom isn’t hard.’ It was the reason I quit blogging, quit reading almost every single blog and began to really focus on my own heart and my family.
What I shared in those posts, if you really read them, is that the heart of being a mom, the circumstances, the living in the here and now in a fallen world full of fallen people is flat out hard. But we don’t have to say it out loud all of the time.
We don’t have to throw our children under the bridge(I don’t like the term ‘under the bus’) and leave a legacy on the internet of how hard it was to be their Mom during some of the most amazing years of their life. And we can learn that being an adult and a person growing more mature in our faith and walk every single day is about making decisions that have positive impacts on the people around us knowing that the best decision may not be the ones our children want us to make. And honestly, they may not be the ones we want to make because the best decision is generally the most difficult one. And making those hard decisions are difficult because they are usually ones that are the least selfless but lead to more maturity in us and our children.
But, that’s not easy – it’s hard.
It’s hard because we all want it our way.
We want easy.
But that’s not life
And while the words in those posts helped me start the process of understanding what was causing the gnawing in my own heart, it didn’t make it go away. It didn’t make the incessant feeling that the world kept spinning more and more out of control and I could no more control that endless spinning than I could control the actions of my children, STOP.
Nothing can help a hurting heart of a mother or impact heart issues more than the gift of grace than God can give.
Lives of littles growing each day. Each one in their own home, the place that is to be the safest in the world for them to be who they are, push their boundaries, attempt the impossible and know that they are loved. It’s what we say we want to give them, but then when we do, we get this idea that it’s going to be perfect.
Sounds great, doesn’t it? I mean, who doesn’t’ want that? It’s not only about the children, but Moms, too. It’s the same for us. Yet, we expect perfection from ourselves and our children.
We forget that being comfortable and safe means being who we really are and praying for forgiveness and grace to abound all the more while God works out the muck in our hearts so that we can be the people we were meant to be and our children want the same.
But, we think that one little prayer or one verse will change it all, make it all perfect and rosey.
But that’s not life. That’s not real.
That sets us up to feel alone and worthless
Life is messy and yet it’s beautiful when you sit back and you find the truth about what it really means to be a wife and a Mom.
It isn’t about making the best craft, the best meal, finding the best blog, the best pin, the best tweet or being the author of those latest and greatest posts that make you feel better for not being perfect.
No on is perfect.
Yet, day after day, women all around the globe sit in a puddle of tears and cry because they’re struggling through one heart problem after another and they’re terrified to share it with friends. Those same Moms read blog posts and books telling them how great they are, yet they sit in closets eating chocolate and wondering where they went wrong.
Oh yes, I’ve been there. I’m no different than you – sweet Mom who is sitting here reading this right now.
Just recently, I sat with a child who cried in my arms asking me to help them stop what they have been doing. And I gave that child the answer I’ve been giving myself –
“I can’t make you stop. I can’t change you. I can pray with and for you. I can read the Bible with you. I can walk this journey with you and point you to Jesus. But, I can’t change you anymore than I can change me.”
And yes, I have my own moments of doubt and misery. My own rain puddles from tears and my own stash of chocolate. But, I’ve left the blog posts and the pinterest perfect lives and traded them for a good dose of reality. I’ve started reaching out to friends through phone calls and texts – PLEASE HELP ME. PRAY FOR ME.
You see, I need real.
You need real.
I don’t want you to come here and read a blog post thinking I’m going to solve your problems…or if you read it you’re going to feel empowered to take on any mountain of laundry and never look back.
That’s a lie.
The truth is – this motherhood thing is best lived with real life friends. We can stop saying being a Mother is hard. We can start realizing, life is hard and change only comes through making hard choices.
My twenty minutes are up. The children have finished reading. There’s a meal that needs to be cooked, laundry that needs to be folded, friends I need to call and three hearts that won’t be in my home forever…..
Me, I’m a wife and a mom. Every now and then I’ll write something. What I write is never perfect, but I pray each word is one that encourages you to move forward in your walk….it’s a great journey – tears and allPlease note, this post contains affiliate links. See disclosure for full information